Please don't let me die before the election

Student 1: So what do you want to watch? Six Feet Under?
Student 2: I think I can handle death better than the current political season.

Either Denys Turner lied or something's not working

Student 1: Ever since Denys Turner told me to pray for what I want, I've been praying for a boyfriend.
Staff member: How's that been working out for you?
Student 1: Not good!

Overheard: Common Room

Damn the atmosphere!

Student: What if Jesus came back already but he burned up in re-entry?

Bless my gas tank too

(in office)
Staff: Will you bless my car for me?
Priest: Yeah, sure.

Overheard: South Hallway

Good to bring that in now and then

Willis Jenkins: I've never before done this in an ethics class but - this is the Bible.

Overhead: Bonhoeffer and King

I wonder if Psalm 23 has as good of a music video as Don't Worry, Be Happy

Student: Who knew Bobby McFarin was so talented? "Don't Worry, Be Happy" and Psalm 23? Amazing.

Overheard: Sung Morning Prayer in Chapel

Oh lordy

Older man 1: I definitely wouldn't go with the oil.
Older man 2: Personally, I prefer the latex.

Overheard: Outside Marquand

(For the record, they're talking about paint)

Oh my!

(typing into google search)
Student: Dancing... with... myself... lyrics.

Thief!

Student: Sometimes... when no one is here... I just dump the whole candy bowl into my backpack.

Overheard: Outside Dale Peterson's office

Way to be aware of what you're saying

Holy Grounds employee holding the biggest coffee mug: I kinda want to give this to a baby so it's an oversized prop.
Male Student: I'm a baby with an oversized - OOH!

Overheard: Holy Grounds

Old school, before the interwebs

(discussing Israelite cultic "prostitutes")
Bob Wilson: If you're interested in this, there's literature for you to read. . . And it comes in a plain brown wrapper.

Overheard in: Kings

Sorry to say, a lot of you don't need one

Student: I've always wanted to start a white middle-class scholarship. We're the only group without one.

Overheard: Common Room

No comment

Denys Turner: Hello, little one!
Child: The sun needs batteries!
Denys Turner: Yes, yes it does.

Evangelical boys are pretty shady

(roommate comes home at 12:15)
Student: Where were you? Why were you out so late? Who were you talking to? It had better have been [student] and not any of those evangelical boys!

I hope I'm one of the 10%!

3rd year student: I don't know 90% of the people I talk to at Coffee Hour.

The Hebrew Bible would be so different if everyone was heavily medicated

John Collins: What do you do when you hear God telling you to sacrifice your only son?
Student: Up your meds!

Overheard at: OT Interpretation

No comment

Student 1: My donkey's name was Michael Jackson.
(pause)
Student 2 (quietly): That's what she said?
Student 1: That doesn't make sense!
Student 2: That's why I said it as a question.
Student 1: That's what she (raises voice) said?

Because babies aren't humans

Student 1: Have you heard [alumni] is going to have a baby?
Student 2: Yeah, I did!
Student 1: I can't believe she's going to have a real, live, human - not just a baby, but a human.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

The nuns didn't swear?

Student: I don't know any curse words in Spanish... then again, I learned Spanish from nuns.

You're not Jerry Seinfeld, sorry

Student 1: ... And what's the deal with Lutherans? They're all like 'ooooo, Luther'.
Student 2: [Student 1], you're just anti-Lutheranitic.

Maybe not the most sensitive or accurate comment ever

Student: Don't go with any of your notes. Just say, "he he, look at me, I'm Justin Martyr" (pretends to stab himself)

Overheard: Common Room

Must be a bad night

Student (while attempting to skin a chicken): This chicken is NOT going gentle into that good night!

I think context is key here

Staff member (putting on lotion): You can never go to chapel with dry hands.

I don't really see the innuendo in that, but ok

(to other student)
Student: This tupperware is really small! ... And yes, I know, that's what she said.

Better to spread the word, once you've learned how to talk

Student: Assemblies of God ordains when you're a fetus.

Next time...

Student: (sigh) You can bring a div schooler to beer, but you can't make them dance.

Overheard: Community Dinner

Great Scott indeed!

Student: While taking a shower this morning I suddenly realized, ‘Great Scott! I’ve forgotten how to cantillate!’

Maybe it's the beard

Straight student: If I go to a gay bar, I get hit on two or three times. If I go to a straight bar, I get hit on like NEVER.

Overheard: Common Room

Do what you have to, Ernestine

Ernestine: Am I doing grill tomorrow? We ran out today so if I am, that means I gotta come in early, I gotta pound, I gotta hammer...

Overheard: Refectory

Herod did have the whole fall collection...

Jaime Lara: Herod was very influenced by the Greeks and Romans. He loved Gucci.

Overheard: House of the Lord

Good friends

Student 1 (female): Hey look, I can make sideburns with my hair, just like yours!

Student 2 (male): I've had these sideburns since forever... before college. (points to them) See, this one is Luther and this one is Erasmus!

And Radiohead

Student: Harry Attridge has a surprising amount of Sixpence None The Richer in his shared iTunes.

Theological pickup lines are my favorite

Student 1: So, when Abraham makes this covenant, he actually tells the guy to grab his testicles.

Student2: That would make a great theological pick-up line: “Hey baby, let’s make a covenant.”

Overheard at: OT

Plus they got to wear togas! I would wear a toga every day if I could.

Student 1: I think I would have much rather been a Greek than a Roman.
Student 2: But the Greeks were always killing each other!
Student 1: Yeah, but it was always so playful.

Overheard at: HGS

So dangerous, yet so delicious

First year MAR: I’m like a Ding Dong for people who are allergic to chocolate.

If you're anyone, I would also assume

First Year MAR: It’s amazing the things you can have sex with… if you’re a Roman Emperor.

I didn't know eHarmony had a mannish woman category

Student 1: eHarmony doesn't match men to men.
Student 2: You could find a mannish woman.
Student 1: Believe me, I've tried.

Overheard: Commuter Lounge

They love you too!!!!!

Student 1: How was class?
Student 2: It was really good. Thought provoking, moving, interesting...
Student 3: All wrapped up in the package that is Jonathon Bonk.
Student 4: I love Mennonites!!!!!

YDS is pretty passive-aggressive... at least until we get some drink in us. Then we're just aggressive.

YDS's Coffee Hour is famous over at passive-aggressivenotes.com... Check it out.

PS: To avoid the appearance of self-promotion and a conflict of interest, those notes are from the Ghost of Coffee Hours Past (and the Ghost of Bookstores Present).

PPS: Donate coffee mugs! And then wash your own. Seriously. It's not that I'm mad... just that I'm disappointed.

Please tell me it's framed somewhere

(looking at poster online)
Student 1: I don't know; it's kinda expensive.
Student 2: How much is it?
Student 1: $35.
Student 2: Oh, that's totally worth it. That's how much I paid for my Paul Tillich Time cover reprint.

Not boring enough for you?

Student: Do you have the book Basic Christianity?
Second Temple Student: I don't think so... Is that theology?
Student: Yeah, on evangelical theology.
Second Temple Student: Nope, I don't have any books on that Jesus cult.

Hopefully not in a factory

(student points to "Made In Mexico" on another student's notebook)
Student: Just like you!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Susan Olson must loooove the Bible

Susan Olson: So what are you reading the Bible for?

-------

(group of Bible/Second Temple students walk up)
Susan Olson: You're like a roving gang of Bible geeks!

Overheard at: Commuter Lounge

Baden's more exclusive than Jesus, it seems

Student: Hey, is your course full?
Joel Baden: Well, I capped it at four...

Overheard: Common room

Almost as good as OH in Minneapolis!

This week only: Overheard at the RNC

Check it out.

A lot of Irish accents in HB

(John Collins starts speaking)
Student: All prophets sound like Irishmen now, after Hebrew Bible.

Overheard at: Faculty-Student lunch

Good advice!

Student: I was sleeping on the couch for awhile, and [alumni] would go out at 2 in the morning, and I'd mumble, "make good choices!"

Oh, the inner shame.

(during discussion on the atmosphere in law school classrooms)
Student 1: Yeah, there's not a lot of public shaming at div school.
Student 2: It's mostly inner shame, really.